I don't really have a fancy introduction paragraph for everything I want to say, so I guess I will just write. This isn't going to be organized, and it probably won't be moving. These are just my thoughts, and I want to get them out of head.
I feel like the reason why I have been drawn to Russia is because I want the important people in my life to understand that no matter where we are from, we are all the same. We all have needs. We all cry. We all feel pain. I want people to understand that being different doesn't make someone a barbarian.
For the first time in a long time, I am ashamed. I am ashamed because a few weeks ago I almost threw in the towel and gave into what certain people have been telling me all along. I decided to believe that this place isn't worth fighting for. That it's hopeless. That the people here don't even respect themselves, so why should I. I don't want to write about the things I've seen and felt. I don't want people to feel embarrassed and I don't want people who don't understand this place to pass judgement.
All I can tell you is that I was wrong. This place is worth fighting for. These people don't deserve to be given up on.
When I think about all the hate and hopelessness in this world, it brings me to tears. But more importantly it makes me want to do something about it.
People have told me that my degree is pointless. People I desperately wanted to support me didn't. Unfortunately, it is so easy to forget all of those people who have supported me. But this place. It makes me a better person. It chips away at my hardened heart. And if that is all I ever get out of this entire experience, then so be it.
I feel like the reason why I have been drawn to Russia is because I want the important people in my life to understand that no matter where we are from, we are all the same. We all have needs. We all cry. We all feel pain. I want people to understand that being different doesn't make someone a barbarian.
For the first time in a long time, I am ashamed. I am ashamed because a few weeks ago I almost threw in the towel and gave into what certain people have been telling me all along. I decided to believe that this place isn't worth fighting for. That it's hopeless. That the people here don't even respect themselves, so why should I. I don't want to write about the things I've seen and felt. I don't want people to feel embarrassed and I don't want people who don't understand this place to pass judgement.
All I can tell you is that I was wrong. This place is worth fighting for. These people don't deserve to be given up on.
When I think about all the hate and hopelessness in this world, it brings me to tears. But more importantly it makes me want to do something about it.
People have told me that my degree is pointless. People I desperately wanted to support me didn't. Unfortunately, it is so easy to forget all of those people who have supported me. But this place. It makes me a better person. It chips away at my hardened heart. And if that is all I ever get out of this entire experience, then so be it.
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